i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Everything about him screamed your future.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
