As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
