my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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