tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
