Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
