he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
