so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
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Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
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If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.