Christians are straight up FREAKS
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize