After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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