She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
