All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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