i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
