Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
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Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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