i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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