lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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