I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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