had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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