I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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