I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
