We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize