Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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