she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize