If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
