so that wasnt chicken after all
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
