I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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