you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
