Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
