Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My vagina just clenched in fear
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
