thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
