Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
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Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
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We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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