I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
