I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
