She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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