i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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