So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
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