Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize