you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
