if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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