Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
