So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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