Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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