oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
