Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
