she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize