I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
