Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I puked a lego.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
