i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
