i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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