My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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