what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
