? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
