well I can't set my house on fire every night
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
