Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
