i permit you to call me
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
