I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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