But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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