"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
