you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
