i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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