I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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